What's On Your Mind, is What's In Your Life

Whatever you are predominantly focused on will flow into your reality. - Esther “Abraham” Hicks

What's on your mind?  Right now, in this moment.  Where are your thoughts?  Hopefully, if you're reading this blog, your thoughts are focused on the words on your screen.  If you're like most of us, your thoughts may often been lingering somewhere else, even when you're focusing on something like reading.  Kinda tricky, right?

This concept of "multitasking" as a goal is in many ways a HUGE distraction from actual productive action or even productive thinking.  If we are focusing on an activity, such as reading a blog; but our thoughts are really on what's next on our agenda, or what we forgot to do yesterday, are we really present?  Not likely.  

No worries, you're not alone.  Most of us have so many thoughts that enter our mind within the first 5 seconds of waking up every morning; that by the time we actually raise ourselves out of bed, we have about 400 thoughts, scenarios and ideas that have rushed to the surface of our minds.  This is why it is so important to have a Rising Ritual that we practice before plugging into the world.  

If you want tips on a Rising Ritual that can get you RIGHT for the day, check out my book by clicking here

So back to your thoughts.  What's on your mind right now?  And maybe expand just a little bit; and consider what's the the focus of your most dominate thoughts?  Money, Love, Health, Family, Travel? What do you think about most?  Where do you find your thoughts taking you on a journey to the most frequently?

Whatever subject your thoughts are most dominantly focused on, is what you will experience the MOST of in your life.  For instance, if your dominate thoughts are linked to money, you may find yourself experiencing repetitive thoughts about having money, not having money, making money, spending money, etc.  Or, if your dominate thoughts are about love and partnerships, you may find yourself having thoughts about finding love, losing love, marriage, etc.  

Whether you find yourself most often thinking about money, love, family, travel, whatever ... you are most likely thinking about two subjects relating to those topics.

Let me break it down ... 

Every subject is really two subjects.  The presence of it.  Or, the absence of it. 

So if money is the subject of your thoughts, you are either thinking about the presence of it, or the absence of it.  Now you may ask yourself, why would I want to think about the absence of money?  If my most dominate thoughts are what influences what shows up in my life, why would i want to think about the absence of money?  Money is great! I want to have lots of it!

Well, we often are only about to identify what we DO want, when we experience the absence of it. 

So, our thoughts will often get caught into loop of sorts.  Which creates a loop of experiences in our lives. In order to break the loop, or stop the cycle, you have to learn how to manage your mind.  

Remember, what's your mind is what's in your life.  If what's in your life is less than desirable, you may want to take a closer look at your predominantly repeating thoughts. 


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Getting There When It's Grim

If you've read a few of these blogs.  If you're on social media of any kind.  Or even if you tuned into anything broadcast on OWN in the last 12 months.  You may have caught a glimpse of this movement of sorts that's happening.  It's a movement of peace, love and positivity.  Essentially are starting to wake up to the idea that being miserable, and running a rat race through life is no way to live.  

However, because our world is so jacked up, at times it may seem pretty grim.  The idea of being positive, mindful and happy may seem like a distant, pipe dream for some!  The truth is, it is because so many people have forgotten what happiness even looks like.  Or maybe never even experienced joy.  It's sad to consider; but its so true for many.  

Getting to happy, when it's grim may sound like monumental chore.  Trust me, it's not.  

Believe it or not, getting to happy when it's grim is sort of like having a boxing match with negativity.  Some people call it, negative energy, darkness, the devil, whatever.  No matter what you call it, there's foul shit out there in this world.  If you're not cautious, it can totally attach itself to you and bring way down, far away from happiness.  

The good thing is, bliss (aka the ultimate happiness) is literally only a few breaths away.  Yea, just a few breaths!  

Meaning, all you have to do is start by telling yourself, "I am not gonna let this grim crap happening all around me, bring me out of my bliss!" - I get it.  Saying that out loud to yourself may seem kinda goofy, right?  Well guess what?  If you wanna get to bliss, you gotta get a little goofy.  What have you got to lose anyway?

There's been times in my life where grim was the order of the day.  Moments when I literally sat on my meditation cushion and just cried.  Not the cute, single tear down the cheek cry.  I mean the ugly, bawling your eyes out until breathing becomes complicated; and cries began to sound like laughter kinda cry.  Sometimes this world just seems like too much, right?

With all violence, pain, injustice and destruction happening all around us, it may seem like bliss is impossible.  

Well it's not! 

Remember happiness, or in this case, bliss is a choice you make. It's not a place you have to drive, crawl or walk to.  You literally just have to gain control of your mind, and CHOOSE to be happy.  No matter how grim it might be.  

Keeping in mind, if you focus on what's grim, then you'll be attracting more and more of that feeling.  Whereas, if you allow yourself to get to a happy place in your thoughts, you will attract more and more of that.  

So today, I invite to tell yourself that you're not going to allow the grimness of this world to weigh you down.  No matter what, there's always joy.  There's always light.  There's always love.  You just gotta choose it. 

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Be Relentless with Your Goals

To be relentless is to be persistent, continual, continuous and basically never giving up.  

No matter how vast, big or seemingly impossible your goals may be, you must be relentless.  Think of this way, if you are willing to allow space to give up on yourself, then how will garner the support of others?  You have to be so firm with yourself that when the excuses start to pop up and tell you that you can't, won't or don't deserve to have everything you want; you can swat them away like the pesky flies they are.  

Don't allow negative beliefs to seep into your thoughts.  They have a way of tagging you when you start to overthink, overanalyze or otherwise spend too much time trying to decipher all the possible outcomes you want to avoid.  When you set a goal, your mind has a way of reminding you of all the barriers and obstacles you may face on your pursuit.  

Your mind can be your best friend, or your worst nemesis.  It has a way of keeping you in the flow of your feelings.  If you are feeling strong, determined and relentless, your mind has a way of clearing a mental path for you to think your way into (or out of) any possible scenario that may present itself.  When you have your eye precision focused on the prize (whatever that may be) your mind will give you more and more thoughts to keep you on track.  

However, the MOMENT you allow a negative thought to STICK, you get yanked away like you're stuck to a runaway freight train.  Down, down, down you go into the pits of all sorts of buts, can'ts, won'ts, what if negatives .. etc.  Then you have to work TWICE as hard to pull yourself back to square one.  

Sounds like a lot of work, right?  That's because it is a TON of work.  

It is also work to keep your thoughts aligned with exactly what you DO want.  You still have to make a diligent, relentless effort; but it is much simpler to reach for a better feeling thought when doubt seeps in; than it is to jump off of a runaway freight train of negative thoughts.  

As soon as I feel a negative thought creeping up, I literally say to myself (aloud) STOP IT! STOP IT I SAY! Cuz I need that mental, physiological experience to make the negative thoughts chill the hell out.  Otherwise, I will find myself in a shit storm of negativity and curled up in a corner somewhere not accomplishing a single thing. 

Who has time to let their goals sit on the shelf while they are wrapped up in negative thinking?  I sure as hell don't.  I have some BIG ASS GOALS and I know that time is an illusion, so I can make it work in my favor, or it can totally work against me.  

Instead of allowing yourself to be passive with your goals, be relentless.  Go after them with power, intention and courage.  Trust me, you will get there much quicker and have a smile on your face when you do. 

Remember, your goals are the result of your dreams; and those dreams are unique to you. So don't mess around and let your dreams remain elements of your imagination.  Make them keystones in your reality. 

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Be Vulnerable ... It's Awesomely Uncomfortable.

You know how vulnerability is often equated with weakness or sensitivity (as if being sensitive is like a disease) ... and its something that many people often avoid.  So much so that we will go great lengths to avoid being vulnerable.  

I'm here to tell you, that if being vulnerable is what you're avoiding.  You are also avoiding experiencing love.  You're avoiding human connection.  You are most definitely avoiding authenticity.  Being authentic includes being totally and completely vulnerable.  Being exposed.  Letting your not so awesome parts show.  It's not always pretty.  Often times it includes ugly cries, maybe a little discomfort; but on the other side of all that is a beautiful experience of REAL connection with another person. 

When I was a kid I was a "cry baby" and my dad would often tell me to "stop crying" as if crying was the ultimate display of weakness.  Come to find out, my dad is a bit of  "cry baby" himself.  I wonder I where I get it from?? 

Seriously though, being able to be seen by another person, requires you to be vulnerable.  It requires to be seen as your slightly fucked up self.  It also allows you to make space for someone else to be equally vulnerable.  To be exposed.  So the idea of us walking around with these shields up.  All sort of existing in these "anti-vulnerablity suits" (I visualize HAZMAT suits) trying to connect with each other.  How exactly does that work??

How you can connect with someone when the vulnerability leads to a little discomfort.  We have this fear that if we ask for what we want; or better yet if we ask for what we NEED that we will be seen as "needy" or "clingy" or whatever.  When the truth is, the person who can say, "Hey ... that thing you did, makes me feel uncomfortable, and this why.  And .. I'd really like it if you never did that again."  That person is the truly powerful one.  

On the other hand.  If you're the kind of person who cowers under discomfort, you will never grow.  Rumi says, "If you are irritated by every rub, how will you ever be polished?" - We have to be willing to be a little uncomfortable if we want to experience anything REAL.  We can just do what's easy.  We can do what's simple; but what's simple isn't always easy.  

Being vulnerable is simple.  Is it easy?? Hell NAH! It is far from easy.  However, like with anything, it gets a little easier over time.  Not necessarily any less uncomfortable, but easier. 

Do you know how often people spend YEARS with someone they are still afraid to be vulnerable with.  Afraid to be seen.  

Being afraid is natural.  Especially when you're doing something for the first time.  Or you have a lot riding on a decision.  Shit anything can create a little fear. When your heart is involved, it's super scary.  Just because something is scary doesn't mean you tap out and avoid it.  

What means is, you lean into fear. You view it through a lens of compassion; and you move through it courageously.  The greatest treasures are found by champions; not cowards.  So don't cower away from vulnerability.  Do it afraid.  Just go for it.

So today, I encourage you to get vulnerable with someone.  

Have an ugly cry.

Apologize for something you know you would take back if you could.

Be willing to be seen for who you really are.

Being vulnerable is awesome.  Trust me. 

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Dream Big ... Bigger Than That ...

There is nothing out of reach or possibility.  NOTHING! Trust me. 

You may think that in order to dream, you have to dream in realistic terms.  That kinda kills the point of dreaming.  Dreams are not rooted in reality.  Hence, them being dreams. Dreams are meant to stretch your imagination muscle.  Dreams are meant to inspire you.  To get you into that happy place where you can really create some amazing goals.  From these goals, you will begin to experience a life of your own design.

Dreams are what create the space for you to set goals.  Goals are like the game plan for creating the best possible outcomes that you allow yourself to imagine.  Some people mix up the two; or use the terms "dreams" and "goals" interchangeably.  They are two very different things.  

Dreams are limitless, boundless, timeless and meant to urge your mind to stretch outside your circumstance.  Goals are rooted in reality to some extent and they are often based on a specific timeline.  

When you dream, don't just dream about what you "THINK" is possible.  Dream outside of possible; because the truth is, EVERYTHING is possible.  ANYTHING is possible.  There is no limit to possibility.  There are only limits to thought.  So be the master of your thoughts; and allow yourself to dream big ... bigger than that .. then even little bit bigger. 

Both dreams and goals are necessary in order to become an active participant in the creation of your life experience.  You need to learn how to access both the ability to dream big; and to set specific goals.  Keeping in mind, dreaming and goal setting, will become habits.  Not just something you do on occasion.  Some of the most successful people in this world garnered their success by dreaming HUGE; and setting PRECISE goals for their life. 

Success is measured by many things.  Not just financial wealth, material gain or fame.  Success is really subjective. You get to decide what is successful in your life; and what isn't.  Chances are, if you're an ambitious being like I am, you have lots of goals; and add to them every day.  

I have HUGE, MASSIVE dreams for my life.  Thankfully, I've learned how to set precision goals in order to create plans to manifest my dreams into reality.  If you want to know about how to do that, hit me up! 

For instance, you may have a dream to own a home in a beautiful location someday.  You dream of easily affording this home and filling it with wonderful decorations that bring you joy.  You imagine sharing your space with loved ones (or not .. lol) and experiencing amazing moments in this home.  Now, you've got a dream.  The next step is to set a goal.  To get you to that dream.  

First you have to dream.  When you do so, you have to allow your visualization to be boundless.  Don't allow the opinions, ideas or restrictions of what others may have told you about what you can be, do or have.  Some people have forgotten how to dream.  Or they've just given up on the idea that anyone can be, do or have anything they want.  

You gotta also be cautious about who you share you dreams with.  Sharing your dreams with like-minded folks will add deliciousness to your dreams.  They will pour love, light and good juju into your dreams.  These folks will even help you develop goals in order to create plans to manifest your dreams into reality.  Allowing others in your tribe to experience your dreams along with you can really accelerate the process of manifestation.  

A member of my tribe recently dreamt of acquiring a home.  She set an intention, shared it with those she loved and within just a few weeks, she was hosting a housewarming party in her new space.  There's tons of stories like this one.  

There's a lot of cynical MoFo's in this world.  A lot of people that just don't believe in this manifesting your dreams into reality type shit.  Well ... that's great for them.  This is your life tho! So you gotta do what makes sense for you.  And trust me, when you life starts looking more like what you dreamed of, those same MoFo's who were telling you that 'all the meditation, intention setting, dreaming that you were doing was a waste of time', they will be the first ones in line to try and get a taste of what you got.  

When that happens  you can graciously share your knowledge with them.  Cuz one thing about knowledge, it's like good gumbo.  It's meant to be shared. 

Today I invite you to dream.  Dream like you did when you were a kid.  Or even better, dream like you never have before.  Write down your dreams. Maybe share them with a loved one.  Then get ready to set some goals and make it happen. 

Remember, your circumstance does not determine your destiny!

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Be Willing to Do the Work

Do you want healthy relationships? 

Of course you do!  Who doesn't?  

If you want healthy relationships, you gotta do the work.  Some people say, 'relationships are work' and while there is some truth to that.  The "work" in relationships has less to do with the other person, and more to do with YOU. 

Remember, you attract what you are.  So if you're attracting relationships that are toxic, draining, dissatisfying or otherwise bullshit; you gotta take a look in the mirror.  Cuz you, are the one who is creating that experience.  Not to say that the other person is not also a contributor.  BUT ... if they too are doing the work ... well ... then the both of you will likely create a much more desirable experience. 

Look at this way, if you are being your best self.  Living your life out loud.  Rooted in authenticity and just doing your thing in a really big way; you will attract someone who is doing the exact same thing.  Two people who doing their absolute best, will have a greater capacity to BE their best for each other.  

On the flip side, if you are living in a super low vibration ... meaning, you're not practicing self care, you're not setting boundaries for your time and energy; basically, you're bullshittin' your way through life.  If that's where you are, then guess what?? Someone doing the same exact thing is gonna bump right into you. 

Why??? That's just the way it is.  The way the Universe is set up to allow space for like things, people, experiences, etc. to collide.  When two people are on the same wavelength, vibration, flow, whatever you wanna call it; they will eventually connect.  When the timing is right. 

Don't get me wrong.  If you're bullshittin' your way through life, you're not probably not even looking to connect with anyone. Except of course, someone to share your misery.  Or, what many people do, when in this stage of life, is link up with other people in an equally low vibration, in order to create a distraction from actually doing the work to get their life right.

If that's you, don't trip.  You're not alone.  There is hope.  If you really want to start to do the work, and create some massive change in your life, hire a coach!! I know one.  She's pretty dope!  Just wrote a book in fact.  *insert shameless book plug*

Seriously though, if you are not experiencing blissful, supportive, loving, healthy, amazing relationships with everyone in your life, friends, family and lovers; then you may want to consider taking a closer look at how you're showing up.  Cuz it takes two to tango and two to tank.  

Focus on the relationships that are most important to you.  Take inventory of how it feels to be in them.  Are you happy?  Satisfied? or Just getting by?

You deserve to have the best of the best! No matter where you are. Whether you are living your best life.  Or if you are in transition to becoming your best self.  You gotta start somewhere.  The condition of your relationships with others is a good indication of how well you're living.  

If the condition is great, then you must be doing something right.  If not, you got some work to do.  Keep in mind, the "work" is ongoing.  The more progress you make, the better you feel.  The better feel, the better you live. 

Relationships can be work; but not hard work.  Take the time to do the internal work, so you can reap the external benefit.  The internal benefit is pretty awesome too!


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Just Be Who You Are .. It's Much Cooler

It is much less work to just be who you are.  Don't know who that is?  Spend some time alone!

When we come into this world, we do so with a unique personality.  As we grow, and are raised by whomever, we start to unintentionally become someone who is a reflection of them (the people who raise us).  Some elements are great; and others, not so much.  

Either way, once we reach an age of awareness, we start to reclaim our personalities.  That may happen during our teen years, or even into adulthood.  No matter when it happens, once you discover who you really are, then you have a duty to BE that. 

I just wrote a book and in the first few pages, I am letting my readers know who I really am.  Throughout the book, I'm sharing parts of myself that some may be shocked by.  Frankly, I don't give a damn.  Cuz the truth is, I spent a lot of my life being someone that would be less shocking; but also less real.

About a month ago, I had full on meltdown in my best friend's living room.  She said one thing to me that stood out.  She told me, "You gotta keep it 100 .. or one-hunned ..." - I can't pull that off.  She did though; and it stuck with me.  I had to stop being someone that was acceptable, desirable and less shocking. And just be my damn self.

What would be the point of us all trying to be other people??? I question many things.  In fact, I question most things.  My mind is built for critical thinking.  One thing I don't question, is the Divine Design of this here Universe that I get to live in.  If the Creator of said Universe, built me as ME, to be ME, then I'm doing a disservice to the divine design of the Universe, I'm out here trying to be someone less than I really am. 

You can choose to act as if you are small, willing to settle, reckless, etc. - the result of that is likely unpleasant, uncomfortable and most importantly, an exhausting waste of time. It is much less work to just BE WHO YOU ARE!  

Spending some time alone.  Just you and yourself is like the coolest and simplest way to introduce yourself to YOU.  Some people think, "I'm alone all the time. I'm lonely as shit" - pause .. there is a difference in being alone, and being lonely.  Being lonely has more to do with being all the way cool with yourself; or the lack thereof.  On the other hand, being alone is cool as shit!

If you're good yourself that is. 

Take a walk in your neighborhood.  Take yourself on a really awesome movie date.  Go see a play, a concert, or just go to the park and chill.  Get to know yourself.  Not the YOU that people think you are.  The real you.  Dance in your living room to your favorite song.  Cry a little bit if that feels good.  

Get to know the YOU that you've been pretending to be, and gracefully dismiss that version of you. If you're pretending be something you're not, let it go.  It's not serving you. 

When you start being the REAL you, people you attract will naturally fuse, mesh and gel with you so easily.  It's delicious! 

Today, go out there and be yourself dammit! 

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It's Seeking You Too

Remember, what you are seeking is also seeking you.  

Meaning, whatever or whomever you are looking to experience in your life is also looking to experience you.  Sometimes, it may feel like you are on a lonely quest to find, be, do and have whatever you want.  At times, that quest may seem endless.  The truth is, it's not.  

It's more like an ongoing thing.  Life, as you know it, is full of wants and don't wants.  Things that you dream of, wish for, pray for, hope for and so on.  Then there's those other things.  The stuff you pray doesn't show up, hope goes away, and wish never happened. Either way, the stuff that you are focused on most, is what you actually experience. 

You may have heard of this thing called 'The Law of Attraction'. If you ever saw that documentary based on the book, 'The Secret' back in 2006, you may recall it being mentioned.  Several thousand times.  Across many streams of media.  Everywhere.  Some may consider it to be some woo-woo, hippity-dippity type shit.  

However, the Law of Attraction is as real an definite as the Law of Gravity, or the Law of Inertia, or any other Laws of Physics.  Yea .. its that real!

One of the reasons why people are hesitant to accept the realness of the Law of Attraction is because it means they may actually have to take some responsibility for the condition of their lives.  No longer being able to rest in the mindset of Com-Blaming all the time.  BTW: Com-Blaming is Complaining and Blaming.  It's something a lot of us do.  I've even done it a couple times.  A lot of times.  

No worries though.  You can choose to stop Com-Blaming any time you want.  Like right now would be a good time. 

The Law of Attraction lets us know that what we are being, doing, thinking, feeling, saying and taking on action on is literally attracting certain experiences into our lives. 

Whether you believe it or not, its still happening. So you may as well learn how it works.  That way, you can be sure you are benefitting from it. 

The poet, prophet and author Rumi says, "What you seek is seeking you" - that's it.  That's all.  

So when you think about what you want to be, do or have; don't think about it being this unsurmountable task that requires a bunch of hard work to experience it.  Think about it being something that is literally just out there.  Waiting for you to find it.  Just was much as you are waiting for it to find you. 

One way to accelerate this process is through Alignment. 

What this means is, in order for you to be in Alignment with what you seek, you may need to make some adjustments in your thinking, beliefs and behaviors. Cuz I will tell you this, if you're not doing, being and having what you want, chances are ... you're not in alignment with it.  

Who and What you're being, is what you attract.  

You can be other things; but you cannot "un-be" who you really are.  

You can act as if you are "this or that" - but the real you, is what is tapping into the Universe and attracting people, opportunities, experiences and things into your life.  So no matter how many posts you make in social media indicating how positive you are, or how many yoga classes you take, or green juices you drink .. who really are, is the "tuner" that gets you on the "frequency" of what you really want.  

So be real with yourself.  Cuz the Universe always keeps it real.




Once you set your intention for your life.  Once you decide what it is that you really want to be, do and have.  Make a decision.  Decide in that moment, that you will not accept anything less.  That you will not settle.  You will not limit yourself.  You will not make excuses.  

You will just get in alignment with what you seek; and allow it to find you.

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